The Empress of Fun: Breaking Free From People-Pleasing and Reclaiming Joy
There comes a point where you catch yourself in the act, smiling too wide, planning too much, holding the whole room’s mood in your two bare hands.
Then it hits you: who crowned me the empress of fun? Why am I carrying the weight of everyone else’s good time, when I barely even enjoy myself?
For years, I played that role without even realizing it. Always the one cracking the jokes, making sure the energy was right, reading the temperature of the room like a thermostat nobody asked me to be.
But here’s the hard truth: the more you pour yourself out trying to fill everyone else’s cup, the more empty you become. You can find yourself surrounded by people, laughing, dancing, vibing, and still feel lonely. Because deep down, you’re disconnected from your own vibe.
I realized I wasn’t bored with life itself. I was bored of living on someone else’s rhythm. I wasn’t lonely for people. I was lonely for my own company.
And that’s when the shift began.
Flip Moment
The flip was understanding this: if you keep chasing connection by performing, you’ll never experience the connection that comes from authenticity.
It’s not my job to monitor fun, to orchestrate vibes, to be the glitter holding the room together. My only job is to enjoy myself, and invite others to meet me where I am.
Practical Steps
Here’s how you reclaim joy from the hands of people-pleasing:
Audit your energy. Notice when you’re forcing yourself to perform, and when you’re naturally aligned.
Say no gracefully. Decline the outings, the events, the vibes that don’t feel like yours.
Rediscover private joy. Go to the places, events, and hobbies you truly love, even if you go alone. Especially if you go alone.
Drop the crown. Stop carrying the title of “empress of fun.” Nobody handed it to you, and nobody benefits when you wear it.
Loneliness doesn’t always mean lack of company. Sometimes it’s a lack of self. And the cure is not to gather more people, it’s to gather more of yourself.
So take the crown off. Put it down. Walk away free.
What’s Been Grounding Me Lately
Tiny things that make the day feel a little softer and help me stay consistent while I rebuild. These aren’t sponsored, just real favorites that fit into my rhythm.
🌿 Liquid Iron Blood Builder : my steady go-to for energy and focus when anemia tries to steal my shine.
🌸 Rose Water & Aloe : a soft refresh for my face and braids, especially after a walk or long day.
🍵 Herbal Teas for Energy & Calm: I rotate between peppermint, ginger, chamomile, and hibiscus depending on my mood.
🕯️ Candlelight: adding a beautiful atmosphere while I create or decompress.
🍠 Air Fryer Must-Haves: quick meals that make clean eating actually doable and save me from “hangry” moments.
💧 Spring Water (in Glass Bottles): still working my way up to all glass, but hydration is non-negotiable.
🪶 These are affiliate links ; meaning if you love them too, you’re supporting my blog at no extra cost. Thank you for being part of this journey. 💕